Jude Manifests Big Money in Munchies

My mother is so much more than a fountain of wisdom. She’s also a pop-cultural speculator. Join her on a mystical journey of snack food, fame and fortune.

I started about three months ago and my journey has taken me places I hadn’t been for some time. First it was a large bag of Ruffles potato chips, which was decidedly the wrong approach, Ruffles have ridges, you see. I can’t find what I’m looking for with all those little hills and valleys, which are good for dips, but not my purposes.

Next I moved onto the gold standard, regular old potato chips. After five bags, I still hadn’t found what I was seeking, Bummer. Okay, let’s try a different approach, I thought, something no one else has tried in this field.

We’ve all seen the Jesus toasted cheese sandwich, the Virgin Mary in bacon, John Lennon in tuna salad, and all kinds of chip animals and celebrities. No. I needed to go another route. The corn chips, Bugles, Chex-mix, tortilla chips and scoops, pretzels of all shapes and sizes– none of these delivered the Holy Grail.

Finally, I found what I was looking for and then some. After ninety-one days, forty-five pounds, and permanently orange fingers and lips, I give you … Mick Jagger … in, of all places, the 16th bag of those crunchy little snacks … Cheetos…

Now, I have to send this pic to E-bay. Bidding will begin tomorrow at 9 am….starting bid will be $450.00. Come on–this is piece of Rock & Roll history!