I’m super stoked about some college basketball tomorrow. Memphis vs. Texas is undoubtedly going to be an awesome game. I watched them both last night, and they played like motherfuckers. The big one for me, though, is Kansas and Davidson. You know I’m going for KU, since they kick ass, but Davidson is tearing it up lately. There’s a lot of talk about them being the Cinderella team of this tournament. Hopefully, when Kansas is done with them tomorrow, it’ll be because they wear pretty dresses and ride a pumpkin all the way back home.
Have you been following the games at all, Nora?
What games? The Olympics? No, Mitchell, I’m afraid I’m not much of a sports fan. I’ve been keeping busy tracking the orbits of some of the more threatening asteroids, planning for the zombie apocalypse and trying to keep my dad busy while my mom writes Juderonomy. Hey, maybe he needs to start watching college basketball. That ought to keep him out of her hair.
There’s always an open beer and a seat open for him if he would like to join me. It’s consumed me lately. I’m a little worried about Stephen Curry. They guy scores thirty points a game like it’s easy. I think the Jayhawk defense can keep him at bay, though. They seem to thrive on a fast-paced, tough game. If they don’t win tomorrow, I’ll be the guy crying in the corner, clutching a picture of Bill Self and asking why he has forsaken me.
Would it be mean if I pointed and laughed? Yeah, Jude would send you a fruit basket if I sent my dad to Hutch for the remainder of March Madness. Whatever you do, if he asks you to “pull his finger,” don’t indulge him. Hey, Mitchell, not to kill your basketball buzz, but how did you like interviewing Juliette Lewis? What the hell was she smoking, dude? She’s a little nuts.
She’s a lot of nuts. We’ve got to stop scraping the bottom of the Hollywood septic tank for my interviews. It’s getting a little tough.
Back to basketball! My prediction: after all is said and done tomorrow, Texas and Kansas will be advancing and things are going to get crazy. If not … well … I’ll just stop fucking watching. What are your predictions, Nora?
*YAWN* Huh? Wha…? I must have fallen asleep there for a second. Well, even though I couldn’t care less about college basketball, I sure hope KU wins for your sake, dude. And don’t worry–we’ll work on getting you some better interviews. I’ve almost gotten through to the cousin of a girl whose neighbor does Dustin “Screech” Diamond’s mom’s nails. That would be cool, right?
Do you hate me? Is that it?
Mitchell,it’s not too late for me to send Noras dad to watch the games with you! I’ll even send all the Beer with him…quick,the cab is waiting,what’s the address??
Before you interview Screech, you really must read Skippy’s comments on the subject :
http://enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com/2006/12/screeched-dustin-diamond-is-ready-for.html
Skippy is like the cliff’s notes to celebrity fuck tapes. Even if you think you really got the significance of the event, you can learn more from his commentary.
Luke, Skippy is my new hero. My mom is still number one, but Skippy is a close second.
N