Gynecomastia–Why Even Some Men Have Bigger Tits Than Me

As far as the genetic lottery goes, I can’t really complain. I’m strong, healthy and symmetrical. When it comes to tits, though, I got robbed. Yeah, I know; I could buy a set. But guess what? I’ve had enough non-elective procedures that I’d really rather avoid the brutality I’ve seen go down on the table on the rare occasion I’ve tuned into Dr. 90210.

Some women just aren’t meant to fill out a training bra. C’est la vie. Cruelly enough, though, Nature has endowed a population of males with my share of the boob fortune. When I was pregnant, chugging down soy-milk like I had formerly quaffed the sugar-free Red Bull, I discovered that endocrine-disrupting phytoestrogens found in soy products could impact present and future testosterone levels in my unborn son.

The fountain of West Soy that spewed forth from my mouth was legendary. I’ll never forget the feeling of paranoia as scientific knowledge gripped me with its cold, clinical fingers. It isn’t just the soy, my friends. Estrogen-mimicking agents are found in just about every chemical we use in big agriculture and industry: pesticides, fertilizers, improperly disposed pharmaceuticals that leach into our water, and even plant hormones, like the phytoestrogens found in the humble soybean.

There are plenty of frightening environmental consequences to pumping these chemicals into the elements. The most disturbing to me, personally, though is that these industrial and agricultural practices could potentially breed the nuts off and bolt the tits onto our menfolk.

Any endocrinologist will say that hormonal balance is a delicate operation. The hypothalamus and pituitary glands are pivotal in every aspect of human development, and disruptions in the secretion and feedback loops of human sex hormones are easily disrupted by the presence of these chemicals.

According to an article by Bernard Poggi, “[s]ignificant deviations in the levels of the appropriate sex hormones can cause severe consequences in reproductive and urogenital development, especially at the time of fetal growth and the pre-pubertal period. In humans, the process of masculinization or feminization is not a black and white proposition but a process that takes place on a continuum over the years.”

It’s a frightening proposition to think about how much of our food is saturated with hormone-mimicking agents. I see only information on estrogen-mimicking, though. Where can I find some phytotestosterones? It strikes me as the bitterest irony, thinking of the masculine nature of industry and how we try to dominate nature into producing for us. Yet, the more we bend nature to suit our desires, the more nature feminizes that force.

Poggi’s article links these chemicals to the drastic decline in male’s sperm counts, claiming that “sperm counts have seen significant decreases worldwide, falling 50 percent from levels measured in the 1930s.” Not only that, he writes, “More recent findings show that the numbers of functional sperm are even lower than those cited above and researchers are finding a large number of immobile, double-headed, double-tailed, and broken sperm that have no real function because of their inability to fertilize an egg, even in close proximity.^“

Repeat after me: HOLY SHIT! Why is this happening?

“The scientific explanation for this reduction in sperm quality has to do with an overall reduction in androgens that occurs when there are significant levels of estrogen in the body. The reduction in androgens causes sertoli cell function to be disturbed, leading to impaired germ cell differentiation.”

That is to say, the shit in our soil, water, air and on our plates is helping to break down all that is masculine and wonderful. Although it might seem like a joke, it isn’t. And the frightening part is, much of our population is blissfully unaware that the dominant practices that put our environment to work for our pleasure and convenience are phasing out something I love: manly men.

I’m sure it will come as no surprise, after reading all that, the most heartbreaking symptom of this trend is the shrinking of penis sizes.

“In the post-pubertal years, exposure to high levels of genistein, as is seen in strict vegetarians who replace animal proteins with soy-based foods, has general feminizing effects on their male anatomy, including reduced sperm production, a decrease in viable sperm, breast development and a reduction in sex drive due to an overall decrease in androgens.”

If ever there was an argument to rethink agricultural practices and to grill up your man a side of free-range beef, that would be it.

After I began to research the topic, I figured what’s good for developing man-boobs might be good for developing mine. After Junior Junior was born, I went back on soy with a vengeance. I also started soaking in all things lavender. Lavender oils are rich in phytoestrogens and have been proven to contribute to gynecomastia, so instead of returning any and all lavender bath items Junior Junior received at his shower, I appropriated them for my experiment.

Sadly, my increase in soy products and lavender cosmetics has done nothing to increase the size of my boobs. I don’t take that as a sign that all my research is reflective of bunk science. Not in the least. I had heard tell for years about the effects of estrogen-mimicking agents on frog populations. But as soon as I heard that mens’ dicks are shrinking as their boobs are growing, I realized times were getting tough and I had to get involved in the fight against the chemical emasculating that’s happening all around us.

I am calling my readers to join me in finding ways we can stop the shrinkage of dick and increase of man-boob. I want to work together to find solutions to this problem. Because if my son grows up and needs a bigger bra than I do, I know the end is near.

For Poggi’s intense scientific breakdown, click this link:

http://www.westonaprice.org/soy/phytoestrogens.html